So, you just married the love of your life, and you’re already to pull your hair out of your head – sound all too familiar? Studies show that the first years of marriage are the most difficult; and national statistics indicate that most divorces occur within the first five years of marriage. When University of Oklahoma researchers studied newlyweds, they found that “expressions of love and affection between a wife and husband drop by half in the first two years of marriage,” and researchers find that most couples “experience a significant drop in happiness about 18 months after the wedding.” However, despite all of these depressing facts, you and your lover don’t have to go through any heartache if you implement these simple secrets into your marriage:
- Love yourself first. You will never be able to love anyone else with your whole heart unless you love yourself first and foremost. When you love yourself, you treat yourself with respect, and you don’t let others bring you down. In short, when you’re your number one, your heart is open and ready to accept and love others fully.
- Don’t lower your standards, but change your expectations. Things will never be perfect, because no human can ever be perfect. Don’t expect your mate to be doting, romantic, and kind all of the time. Enjoy when they DO treat you like a King or Queen, and don’t chastise them when they don’t.
- Remember that your partner’s not a mind reader. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Nobody can read minds, so don’t expect your husband or wife to be clairvoyant about your wants or needs. Express yourself clearly and honestly.
- Be all ears. Your mother gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason – to listen more than you speak. Sometimes your mate doesn’t need a lecture or any advice; instead, all they may need is an open-minded and patient listener to tell their problems and worries to.
- Friends first, lovers second. Would you make your best friend sleep on the couch? Would you yell at your best friend over forgetting the fortune cookies when he/she brings home Chinese takeout for dinner? It’s oxymoronic, but we often treat those we love and care about most better than those we hardly know or hardly see. Treat your mate with the utmost level of respect – be a friend first, lover second.
- Don’t let the kids control your marriage. Remember to make alone time, away from the children, at least once a week for you and your significant other. The formula is simple: happy parents = happy children.
- Take turns doing chores. Break the barriers between traditional male and female roles in the household. Do laundry together, have your wife mow the lawn, let your husband cook dinner and get the kids ready for bed. If you take turns at chores, you’ll appreciate each other more.
- Be honest about finances. Honesty is the basis for any relationship, but fiscal fidelity is one of the most important types of openness in a marriage. Managing your finances together helps you both understand your monetary standings and budget limitations. Don’t hide anything – it all comes out in the wash!
Photo Courtesy Of: GodlyWoman.com
Statistics Courtesy Of: Reader’s Digest
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